Music- Not really for what is played, which is mainly Nepali music and tolerable rock songs from cover bands, but for what isn’t played. You never hear unbearable music like Seether and Nickelback, and I have only heard one country song in three months, which was amusing. I think country music is one of the most abominable creations of the last fifty years. How can such a limited genre still be successful? The theme of almost any country song is one of the following: America, God, drinkin’ alcohol and raisin’ hell, momma, workin’ hard or lost love. Some CD store was playing the Toby Keith song where he talks about stomping out US enemies through vulgar metaphors that was an embarrassment to rational Americans nationwide. I saw Nepali guys singing along and pumping their fists. It was one of those moments where you hope that you’re in a nightmare.
T-Shirts- No fashion movement in the last ten years is as awful as Ed Hardy t-shirts, but in Nepal the trend is taken to the next level. While out, the average male is bedecked in a skin tight variant of an Ed Hardy shirt with five or more colors and fonts, pierced ears and/or eyebrows, spiky hair going in every direction and usually with blonde or orange highlights, skinny jeans complete with chain wallets and stylized patches and Converse All Star sneakers. This is the average costume of someone between 25 and 40. The trend among younger guys is either the exhausted trend of ironic statement shirts or this incredible Emo brand, which depicts individuals of the emo lifestyle engaging in emotionally charged activities, like crying, looking downtrodden and cutting one’s arms. If I can find where these shirts are sold I will buy one in a heartbeat. My button down shirts and patchless jeans are starting to make me feel like a herb.
Commercials- Most channels air the same commercials incessantly for weeks, but some of them are true gems. One of my favorites is one where a girl gets rejected from a pageant for being too dark. Her friend hands her a bottle of whitening face wash, and a demonstration shows her skin immediately losing color and she becomes white. Of course she subsequently wins the pageant and thanks the makers of the product. I would love to see the outrage of the ACLU and Huffington Post if such an item was marketed in the USA. It’s pretty nice that people take efforts to get whiter here, as I pretty much have the title of Whitest Cracker sewn up. It is strange that white folks want the exact opposite, spending lots of money sitting in tanning beds and risking skin cancer to look bronzy and orange, whereas others want to be white. My other favorite is one where an eccentric young man gets a tattoo of his girlfriend, only to reveal it and discover that he got her friend’s name tattooed instead. The girlfriend slaps him and leave. Cut to a scene where the friend and tattoo guy are eating ice cream, that’s marketed as edgy and different! I love the continuity.
Food- As previously stated, I have been vegetarian for over a month, which started because I would get ill every time I ate meat. I have stuck to this diet, and the vegetarian options are delicious and plentiful. My favorites include mixed vegetable curry, malai kofta, dal bhat masala dosa, veg chow mein, pani puri and aloo paratha. The strange thing is aside from eliminating meat, I have made no other alterations to my eating habits and have lost considerable weight in the last month, to the point where none of my pants fit and I have to tighten my belt to the point where the pants bunch up. I don’t care about going vegetarian for the PETA reasons at all, but I have much more energy and have zero desire to eat meat at all. Go veg, kids, it’s worth a shot.
Haircuts- I can get a straight razor shave, a good haircut that far exceeds the standards of chains like Fantastic Sam’s and Great Clips and a back/shoulder massage for Rs. 120 (less than $2 USD). Maybe the best bang for your buck in Nepal.
Weather- Still haven’t decided if it’s a good or bad thing, but the weather can shift from sunny and nice to rainy and awful in a matter of minutes, Lost style. The sun is up at 5am, which can be annoying waking up and feeling like it’s time for work only to learn that you have 3 more hours to sleep. It can be 85-90 degrees walking to school at 8:20 am, and my classroom can get above 90 degrees on a hot day with no electricity, but the temperature at night is usually cool and breezy. I guess it’s a love/hate relationship.
Bluntness- If you’ve gained weight, you will be told. If you look sloppy, you will be told. If you have an unsightly blemish, you will be told. If one’s makeup makes them look like a cheap trollop, they will be told. Such bluntness may turn some people off, but after adjusting, it’s great. Why waste time with fake friendliness and lying to someone about how great their new hairstyle looks, when in reality you hate it? People learn when they are told the truth, and skirting around honesty usually ends up poorly. Cut to the chase and tell it like it is.
Cover Bands- Cover bands can be useful as entertainment if they play a diverse set and not try to take attention away from songs through improvisation. The problem with many Nepali cover bands is that they play the exact same songs. If a band is playing, you will almost certainly hear “Californication”, “Hotel California”, “Sex on Fire”, “Like a Stone” by Audioslave and “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz, which has become the most insufferable song in recent memory for me. I feel like I hear it every single day, and the chorus sticks inevitably gets stuck in my head every time:
“But I..wont…hes..i..tate…no…more..no more…it..cannot…wait ….I’M YOUUURRSS”
Just typing it was a bad decision, as it’s 11am and already stuck.
Sports- Sports fall into both the best and worst categories, as soccer is huge and the games come on during prime time, but basketball only comes on once or twice a week as replays with Hindi announcers. I know it’s football for everyone else, but I still say soccer so as not to confuse myself. I’m going to a party for tonight’s UEFA championship between Man U and and Barca, whereas in America it would probably come on at 1pm when everyone is at work or busy doing things. Everyone likes Manchesher United, but same goes for American fans of the sport. I will be cheering for Barcelona in a fake Messi kit that I got for Rs. 300. It’s spelled ‘Mesi’ and gives him #11, but whatever. By the way, after Roman Abramovich ruined Chelsea by giving Fernando Torres 80 million and sacking Carlo Ancelotti, I am considering switching EPL allegiances. Candidates include Tottenham, Fulham and maybe Arsenal.
Go Mavs.
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