Ten Things

 I've been meaning to write for awhile now but have always been derailed by something. I'm now going to try and bang out some thoughts even though I don't have anything too captivating on my mind. Enjoy!

10. The XXX Olympics are winding down and I've found myself watching much more of the competitions than I normally do. I usually watch the basketball and whatever the prime time coverage chooses to show but have seen a lot of the more obscure events this time around. Some thoughts:

-One of the other networks needs to pick up the coverage for the next Olympics. Bob Costas et al. need to go, the coverage has been exactly the same since the first Olympics I remember watching in 1996.

-The swimwear for various competitions needs to be addressed, starting with women's water polo. Before I offend anyone I'll preface this by saying that water polo, while not really fun to watch, seems like it would be absolutely brutal to play and the fitness of these athletes is to be admired. The water polo has been on in the afternoons at the gym and I have seen a lot of the games/matches, whatever polo calls them. Many of the competitors are...stocky? and the one piece bathing suits have an unfortunate tendency to morph into thongs as the women exit the pool. Probably not the best way for the sport to develop any following. The skimpy two pieces for most of the beach volleyballers (to be addressed later on) are completely impractical and while I understand the women's swimsuits for the swimmers are designed to maximize speed, they make the athletes look like anonymous robots when paired with the swim caps and goggles.

-I loved watching the Russian gymnasts collapse in the team event and subsequently cry over finishing second to the Americans. I have nothing against Russia but the coverage of the gymnastics was laughably anti-Russian and watching the girl that the announcers had deemed 'dramatic' or 'mercurial' (NBC-slang for bitch) break down was great.

The blonde one looks like Vladimir Putin, no?

-It was whitewashed in the American media but the second half of the USA-Canada women's football soccer match was extremely dubious (Calling it soccer is still hard even after being back for 4 months in the US, not sure why). I've watched countless soccer matches over the past three years and have never seen that 'eight-second goalie' rule called. The subsequent hand ball call left the Canucks with a legitimate gripe. I'm glad the Americans prevailed and went on to win gold but fishy...and sports conspiracies are fun.

-Usain Bolt seems like the coolest guy ever. Exudes confidence and charisma and backs it up by smoking everybody in both the 100 and 200 for the second time in a row. If I could hang out with one athlete on the planet it would be him. Not sure how anybody can hate on this guy.

-Why do people bite their medals? They train so hard to compete, get the medal and bite it?

-I love watching the track events but find the swimming extremely boring. Not sure why but swimming just doesn't do it for me. The result is usually obvious toward the start of the last lap and it just seems kind of slow. Diving, however, is great.

-The men's basketball would be a really fun tournament if not for the Americans but I still love watching the USA just scorch teams. Lebron-Durant-Chris Paul are incredible to watch on the same team. I'm in the minority that think that the 2012 team could beat the 1992 team if they only had a little more size. Oh, and a big thanks to Nicolas Batum for reminding the world that the French are scumbags. (0:28)

Medal ceremony for worst Olympic sports:

Bronze: Fencing, at least the fencing that lasts no more than two seconds. The athletes are plugged in to detect the swords and they look ridiculous.

Silver: Beach Volleyball, go USA of course but it's a party sport that you play on vacation, as evidenced by the scantily clad competitors wearing bikinis and sunglasses in chilly London weather. Indoor volleyball is great but this is crap.

Gold: Dressage, I thought I was watching the horses warming up before running or jumping over stuff but it turned out that the trotting around was the event. Should only be an Olympic sport if the horse/jockey are of the same nationality, horse defecation is rewarded and the horses receive the awards in the form of bronze/silver/gold troughs.

* I really burned myself out on #10, the rest will be brief and/or pointless.

9. I don't think that I have ever been more annoyed by an American 'thing' than the recent Chick-fil-A debate. What better way to exercise one's freedom than by eating or boycotting fast food? I have kept quiet about Chick-fil-A until now but have decided to contribute my two cents to the conversation:

I think the waffle fries are grossly overrated. Everybody used to rave about the superiority of the waffle shape with the light dusting of salt but I always thought they were cold and gross. I would eat all the fries before going for the chicken sandwich, which truly is divine. I'm glad I became a vegetarian because avoiding Chick-fil-A out of principle would get annoying really quick. The #1 chicken sandwich was my go-to fast food for many years: a thick, lightly breaded chicken breast with pickles on a fresh bun. It's too bad the homophobes don't operate something terrible like KFC or Burger King.

8. This summer has been too hot. I haven't been able to run outside for almost two months as it never gets below 80 Fahrenheit, even in the early morning. The monotony of grinding out miles on a treadmill in a stuffy gym is getting to be too much. I try to position myself near a TV with sports but always find my eyes gravitating to the HGTV channel where they convince aspiring home owners to 'buy a fixer upper' as opposed to spending more on a modern home. It really is bad television and yet almost daily I find myself following closed captioned dialogue about home furnishings and window treatments. A step up from watching Dr. Phil but only barely.

7. I think that a huge contributor to American obesity is that we drive everywhere. I have gained about 10 pounds since being back in the States despite running ~8 miles a day and eating consciously most of the time. The only major change in my life has been my mode of transportation. The added walking really is advantageous to overall health and I can't wait to live in a city or country where a car is not necessary.

6. Why does summer seem to be the season where we dumb ourselves down? A 'summer' book, movie, album whatever is a euphemism for simple and light and usually means crappy. Why don't we shift the 'summer' products to the wintertime when the weather is awful and people just want to stay warm and not overly think? Just a thought..

5. Does anybody else have random countries that they're intent on visiting without really knowing anything about the country? Mine are Uruguay and Malaysia. Nobody seems to go to Uruguay even with Montevideo seeming fabulous. Sometimes the 'under the radar' countries are the best and I feel like Uruguay could be a sleeper compared to Brazil, Argentina, Peru, Chile, etc. I still want to go to Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia) even after being dissuaded from doing so by Nepali people. There's some intangible that draws me to it.

4. I hate internet memes more than anything. The term 'meme' was coined by Richard Dawkins in The Selfish Gene (a nice read), basically defining them as a cultural entity that could be 'engrained' over time, albeit not genetically. Condescending Willy Wonka is not a meme, it's just a waste of time and in no way makes one more clever..

The above isn't funny, nor are the millions of variants. 

Don't post them!

3. My taste buds are no longer 'Nepalified'. I ate mere jalapenos on a sandwich today and had tears in my eyes from the spiciness. Bland foods have never tasted so good.

To be continued...(maybe)

Half Marathon, Nepali Food, Baseball

One of the first things that happened to me when I got home to America was my dad making me keep my word in running a half marathon. He called me about running one in Chicago in June and I had no choice but to agree. He registered us and we began training, quickly realizing that I had only running about four to five miles per run in Nepal. I added mileage here and there over the next several weeks and built my way all the way up to eleven miles before tapering down the week before the race. I didn't really look into my own training regimen and just went along with what he told me to do, as he has run probably close to a dozen full marathons over the years. Some of the training was probably 'extra' for full marathon guys but I was grateful to get any amount of additional stamina under my belt.

We set out on our trip last Thursday on a route that we have traveled numerous times going to Indiana for Thanksgivings with my dad's family. My family has driven to Indiana for Thanksgiving since we moved to North Carolina in 1996, and along with driving to and from my university, we have probably made the journey close to twenty times. We drive to Dublin, Ohio the first day, going through Virginia and West Virginia on our way to central Ohio, about seven hours. I am always amazed how nothing ever changes on these driving routes and this time was no different; certain areas of America are just constant. I insisted on going out to watch game six of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Celtics and Heat (NBA, basketball playoffs, American sports) to see how central Ohio people would react to Lebron James. The atmosphere was amazing before the game, I have never felt more hostility from a crowd in a bar. Lebron proceeded to drop thirty points in the first half and everybody pretty much left by ten, it was incredible. End of esoteric sports story for half of my audience.  We spent the night at my aunt's and woke up to drive to Chicago. We took the same route we always did when going to Fort Wayne, Indiana for Thanksgiving but kept going until we hit Chicago early Friday afternoon. After getting our racing gear and numbers we decided to go for a run to loosen up our legs after all of the driving, another six to seven hours. We ran in some little park near Northwestern and Lake Michigan before running over to Navy Pier. It was nice to be able to enjoy Chicago in moderate weather. Chicago is a city of extremes; summers are really hot and winters are frigidly cold. I would always get a chuckle when people in Nepal would complain about cold temperatures in winter; Chicago gets about fifty degrees (Fahrenheit) colder. Before dinner I went all tourist with my camera and cruised the Magnificent Mile, a famed area of Chicago known for shopping and spectacular buildings. I have probably been on this street close to a hundred times but usually in extreme heat or cold where I'm more focused on getting to my destination instead of looking around. After having a beer at some place on Michigan Ave. (Goose Island 312!), we flagged a cab to take us to a Nepali restaurant that was really out of the way. I was so excited to finally get to eat Nepali food again, especially in Chicago where all food is fantastic.

Chicago Curry House looked pretty generic with Taj Mahal pictures, Buddhas etc. but boasted a pretty impressive menu of Nepali food along with Indian. They brought us papadum (fried chip things), not good but whatever. I had asked Shehrish for input as to what to get and we ordered momos (dumplings) to start. The waiter quickly wanted our main order as well, which I thought was odd as this is definitely not how Nepali/Indian reataurants operate. My dad ordered daal bhat (rice/lentils) and the waiter looked at him strangely as it wasn't called that on the menu. I explained that I had been in Nepal for over a year and we chatted a bit about Nepal, him being impressed with my ability to speak, albeit minimally. I ordered biryani and he left. The momos looked nice when they came out but I was dismayed to find they were probably close to a year old when I tried to pierce one with my fork only to send it shooting off the plate and onto the floor. The wrappers, probably my favorite part of a momo, were old and chewy like beef jerky or rawhide, FAR worse than any I had ever made. As bad as they were, we ate them as we were starving and the insides were tolerable. Then came the main courses. My biryani was horrible and unflavorful and the raita (yogurt sauce) tasted like watery, sour milk with floating carrots. The daal that my dad ordered was almost too spicy to eat; I told the waiter that I had never once had spicy, hot daal in Nepal and he argued that it was authentic. We needed to eat to have energy for the morning run and didn't want to order more horrible food and put most of it down. I had to have them bring more of the tangy raita to make the daal edible. I left completely disappointed as I had researched Nepali restaurants in Chicago for awhile and everything (customer reviews, friends telling me it was good) suggested that it was legitimate. I kicked the sign on the way out and we headed back to the hotel, having to stop for one last beer in the hotel lobby as both of our mouths were still on fire from the 'authentic' lentils. I love spicy food and have no problems with it but I was worried about screwing up poor dad for the race. Most people carbo load with pasta before a long race and we filled up on crappy garbage. It wasn't even 'Americanized', just terrible.

The next morning the alarm went off at 4:45 as we had to catch a bus from Millennium Park to the South Shore Cultural Center, which I had never been to but was basically just a ride down the lakeside. We got to the start around 6:00 and it was already comfortable enough to stand around without jackets, not a good sign for optimal running weather in the coming hours. I had expected to be more fired up seeing thousands of other runners but was really still just tired and ready to start. I ate a granola bar and drank half of a Gatorade and was ready to go. We were corralled into our running groups to prevent a clustered start and I was surprised to realize that we were in the second fastest group. I knew my dad had put me on a faster pace but I thought it was still close to average. I ate some energy chews and we were off promptly at 7:02, two minutes after the first batch of runners took off. The first couple of miles were unpleasant; it always takes me around fifteen minutes to get loose and the energy chews were making my heart pound like I had just downed a Red Bull. During this time the race flags went from green to yellow, informing us that the temperature had already become a concern and to be mindful of things like heat stroke and dehydration. I was feeling good after three miles and really enjoyed the next seven or so, running through Jackson Park, past the Museum of Science and Industry and further up alongside Lake Shore Drive before looping back. I was 'in the zone' and really cruising along until about mile eleven when the nadir of the race came. I had plenty of energy but was really needing some water, despite having just drank a cup at the previous stop. The next mile was excruciating and seemed like eternity; my left calf cramped up and I was really struggling before pulling up and walking for about twenty seconds. My dad caught up to me and I just started running again despite the pain. He wasn't going to beat me! After the mile that wouldn't end we finally hit a water stop and I drank three cups and poured a fourth all over my head. I immediately regretted drinking so much (can cause cramping) but kept going and was able to grind out the final two miles and finish right on schedule at 1:42:51 with my dad right beside me (Technically I beat him by a couple of seconds.. but he claims that he let me finish first. I don't believe him. Fair and square). I had planned on doing something funny for the cameras at the end but was pretty much in autopilot and just stupidly clapped for myself. We ran about one second under pace but didn't mind as the conditions were really too hot and we both finished higher than expected. We were in the top 5%, which seemed awesome until we saw that a lot of people were still trotting along as we drove back nearly an hour later. I felt really good afterwards but was dehydrated and probably drank four bottles of water in quick succession.The race provided us with a free slice of Lou Malnati's pizza (Chicago style deep dish pizza) and a complimentary Michelob Ultra, which was the best tasting beer I have ever had in my life. Drinking before 9am is unacceptable in about any other scenario but this was an obvious exception. After relaxing a bit longer we got on a bus back to Millennium Park, hit up a Starbucks for some more energy and made our way back to our hotel on Ohio St.

I will post pictures of trip on Facebook soon, but check out (or buy!) the race photos the marathon took of me:

Last name Brown, Bib number 473 . I think I even had my tongue hanging out in a couple.

The rest of the day was fun. We were going to meet up with my uncle and his family for a Chicago White Sox game (Cubs out of town..) but had time to kill and went to get pizza near UIC campus. I was a bit worried about being too dehydrated, as I had probably drank about eight bottles of water at this point without using the bathroom but otherwise felt good. We made our way to the South Side, met up with my uncle , tailgated a bit and watched the White Sox destroy the Houston Astros 10-1 in some really good seats. Even the biggest White Sox fan would have to concede that US Cellular park is a dump. After getting back to Plainfield, IL and spending the night with my uncle, we got up early the next morning and drove to Cincinnati, Ohio for another baseball game, this time seeing the Cincinnati Reds play the Detroit Tigers. After getting to our hotel, watching some Euros and running on the treadmill (bad idea with sore legs), we showered up and went to a bar before the game started. This park was somewhat nicer and the game was much less one-sided, with Detroit mounting a big comeback for the win. 'Let's go Tigers' chants were heard throughout the game, not good for the hometown Reds. Night games are always nice under the lights and the weather cooled off making for a pleasant night in Cincinnati.  We got up super early again and made our way back to North Carolina, fun times had by all. I still will not be running a full marathon, that's for crazy people.

What's up?

Terrible title.

I haven't really been inspired to blog lately as American life is nothing new to me but I have missed writing them. I'll try to start doing one every other week or so to keep in touch with everybody back in Nepal; hopefully my life in America is more interesting to you all than it is to me. Writer's block is a pretty fairly powerful phenomenon and I have started to write this blog 4-5 times only to completely blank when I stare at the empty template. My brain is still feeling unable to formulate a thought but hopefully if I ramble long enough it will feel cohesive. I can't conjure up a good transition sentence so I'll just jump right in:

I've recently abandoned vegetarianism and reintroduced fish and seafood into my diet to become a pescatarian, a term I've ever been fond of. Pescatarianism sounds more like an offbeat political philosophy advocating for fish rights than a diet that includes fish products. I remained vegetarian for the first few weeks of being back which was brutal. Everything is so bland in the USA and few restaurants in my area offer anything remotely appetizing and vegetarian. I went to Wilmington, NC, a coastal city renowned for its seafood, to pick up my brother from college last week and decided early on that I wasn't going to miss out on delectable seafood. We went to a seafood restaurant for dinner and ordered buffalo shrimp. I was apprehensive to dig in when it arrived but shrimp tasted exactly as I remembered them. Feeling emboldened, I then ordered a crab cake sandwich which turned out to be mushy and underwhelming. I was concerned about the aftereffects of eating these foods after not having any meat/fish for probably eight months but experienced no discomfort. We went to Wrightsville Beach the next morning where I hadn't been back to since our family vacationed there fifteen years ago. The area was EXACTLY as I remembered it being to an almost eerie degree. I normally have a really good memory about places but here I was able to recall minute details such as the condo we stayed in, where the grocery store was, where the restaurants we ate at were, fifteen years later. I have eaten much fish/seafood since as I don't trust myself to cook it properly but did eat shrimp and fish at Bonefish Grill on Mother's Day. I don't remember if I gave Bonefish a pass when I ranted about chain restaurants in a previous blog but the food is pretty good. They were unfortunately out of everything I wanted (grouper, trout, mahi mahi, salmon) so I went for sea bass, really good. The additional protein makes weightlifting much easier, which I've been doing here or there since being back and rejoining a gym. I swallowed my ego and started attending one of those YMCA classes that are 80-90% female. Bodypump! Laugh all you want but I have gotten a lot stronger in the last month. Those classes are intense.

As soon as I got back to the States I committed myself to running the half marathon that I resolved to do back around late December by signing up for a race in Chicago on June 9th. After racing, we are catching a White Sox-Astros game on the south side (Cubs out of town..) before driving up to Cincinnati for a Reds-Tigers game. I'm excited to see live baseball even though I have shifted my sports passion onto basketball and soccer. I have been in a training regimen for the last month that has been kicking my tail but gotten me into really good running shape. I started stretching my runs a mile or two every week and banged out eleven miles this past Sunday for the longest run of my life. My father is a maniac marathoner who also prescribed weekly 'speed work' exercises, basically near sprints for 1/2 mile stretches with recovery laps thrown in between, which I'm told builds endurance and strengthens mental resolve but I really feel like it's just to torture me. The relationship between running and I is extremely volatile; some days I hate it and find myself thinking evil thoughts and other days it feels effortless and is over in a flash. I've been fortunate to avoid any big injuries, only having a sore something or other almost every day ranging from foot/calf/quad/toe and almost always with my right leg. My time goal is 1 hour and 42 minutes, which would have me running at a 7:50/mile pace. I don't know if this is a 'good or bad' time but it's what I'm comfortable doing. Everybody has been asking if I plan on running a full marathon next: no. Long distance runners are insane, depraved dedicated humans who have much higher tolerances for pain and boredom than I do. I have a healthy respect for anyone that would put their bodies through a grueling gauntlet of blood, sweat and tears only to be rewarded with an oversized t-shirt and a small medal denoting their achievement. I'll still run but can't see myself ever doing a full marathon unless there's some huge monetary incentive. Plus I just look foolish when running; for some reason I run with my tongue sticking out, kind of like how Michael Jordan played basketball, only mine is the opposite of cool, looking more like a panting dog than a world class athlete. I do it involuntarily and just roll with it now. I felt stupid as soon as I posted 'half marathon' as one of three 2012 goals but it looks like I'm going to deliver. Cooking (goal #2) is underway but I'm not happy with any of the Nepali food I have made. I'm a bit behind on goal #3 (reading 50 books), which I thought would be the easiest to fulfill. Too many sports on TV back in America, but with soccer ending and the nightly NBA schedule getting lighter I should be able to get back on track.

My tongue thing looks nothing like that., imagine the opposite


(Sports the rest of the way..)

Chelsea FC recently won the UEFA Champions League in the most improbable fashion, ending my 14-year drought (Chicago Bulls, 1998) as a sports fan without one of my teams winning a major championship. Chelsea went from firing their first-year manager midseason (and eating the remainder of his massive contract) to being the kings of Europe while pissing off the fans of basically every other team in the world. Whether it was due to their racist, involuntary anti-smoking model captain to Lord Didier perhaps embellishing a take down or two to their unlimited splashing of money, everybody seems to hate Chelsea: Americans, Nepalis, Indians and ESPECIALLY every British fellow that I became acquainted with at the Irish Pub in Nepal. This of course makes their victory so much sweeter to me after having to endure countless ribbings and lectures on how deplorable Chelsea are. I've always pulled for the villains in movies and have grown weary of athletes/teams that win 'the right way'. In related news, I've developed a huge affinity for the boxer Floyd Mayweather, perhaps the most despicable high-profile athlete in the world not named John Terry. I like to be entertained, I don't care how they are as humans when they're not on TV. CHAMPIONS!

Going to the lake house in Virginia for the weekend, enjoy the long weekend! (Americans!)

One Week Later

I was finally able to toy around with the formatting of this blog, something I couldn't do in Nepal due to slow internet. I think I'm happy with the new format but am still undecided. Let me know what you think. I would like it to look a bit more polished but my internet skills are sadly lacking.

It's been about a week since I've been back in the States and I'm finally starting to feel normal. I've found that adjusting back to a completely different time zone has been rough and for whatever reason more difficult than it was for me to acclimate in Nepal. I've been able to sleep at normal hours but my sleep patterns are erratic; I'll go through phases in the night where I sleep HEAVY and wake up almost unable to move and I also have been randomly waking up completely alert at all hours in the night. It's been better the past couple of evenings and I hope that it balances itself out soon. My dreams have all been Nepal oriented, so springing awake to be in America has left me confused on more than one occasion.

The only aspect of American life that I have found particularly challenging to readjust to is the food. Let's just say that American food is...different (I'm trying to be as diplomatic as possible). I've been out to eat a couple of times at restaurants with American menus and have slowly realized how limited my options are as a vegetarian. I knew before coming back that I wouldn't have that much diversity to choose from in restaurants but I didn't think it would be THIS limiting. The only vegetarian items I've seen have been unhealthy appetizers such as mozzarella sticks, potato skins and hush puppies, salads and the ubiquitous 'veggie burger' which I've discovered is the token meat-free item prominently displayed on every menu in a little section toward the bottom. I've eaten three different veggie burgers in the last week and while I don't mind them, they certainly do pale in comparison to the cuisine I had grown accustomed to in Nepal. I don't even really like ketchup but it's essential to liven up the blandness of these veggie patties. My mouth has also been feeling strange since I've been back which I think is because I haven't been eating any masala. My tastebuds are raised and I feel like they're crying out for more flavor. I couldn't take it anymore yesterday and fired up some wai wai for lunch, the Nepali equivalant of Ramen noodles. The familiar smells made me salivate as the noodles cooked in the microwave and the first forkful of piping hot noodies was heavenly. I don't consider myself one of those foodie people and am surprised to be missing the food as much as I have been.

I had been jogging around 25 minutes in Nepal every day for several months and would usually stop from being unable to breathe properly toward the end of a run. I have ran every day since being back in the USA and have been amazed with the lengths and speed of my runs. My furthest jaunt this week was a 10K through my neighborhood that I ran at a 7:50 mile pace. Breathing clean air has really allowed me to push the envelope and I don't think I've reached my limit yet. The terrain of North Carolina is brutal in comparison and all areas have steep, leg burning hills but I feel like my legs are adjusting and getting stronger. When I blogged about New Year's resolutions I thought that the half marathon was the loftiest of the three but feel that it's well within reach. I was stunned to discover that I am now skinnier than my father and have also been hitting the weights at the YMCA to avoid withering away. I checked my weight for the first time in over a year and am sitting pretty at 162 pounds (about 73 kg for my metric system fans). I usually wouldn't make mention of such a thing in a public forum but decided to post it to keep myself honest and because part of me still fears that I'll grow weary of being vegetarian and revert back to eating anything. I hope to actually gain some weight in the form of muscle so let's hope the number grows (slightly).

Getting back into the sports culture has been both fun and annoying. My soccer schedule has flip flopped due to the time differences and I'm back to afternoon Champions League and early morning English Premier League matches. The coverage of soccer has become more 'Americanized' since I left with the graphics and commentating and I actually really like it. I had somewhat trained my brain to the British terminology but now can enjoy it even more because I don't have to stop and decipher any of the commentary. My sincerest apologies to anybody that took my advice and bet Barcelona -153. I usually only publish picks when I feel that they're absolute locks to avoid looking stupid and was as surprised as anybody to watch Chelsea escape with a 1-0 victory in one of the strangest matches I have ever seen. Barcelona held something 80% possession and the only real Chelsea shot I remember was the Drogba goal. Barca wins that match probaly 96 times out of 100 so I stand by the pick. It feels blasphemous to trash my own team but Barcelona is of a different breed. The current line for the second leg is Barcelona -384, not quite as sexy. Moral of the story as always, don't gamble.

The NBA hasn't been as great as lots of stars are resting or injured and the quality of play has been spotty but I have LOVED being able to watch teams other than the Knicks. Quick thoughts: Miami wins the East and the title (sorry Chicago), can't decide on the West but leaning toward OKC, Joakim Noah has amazingly gotten uglier, I'm the only remaining Carmelo defender in the world, LBJ wins MVP, Dwight Howard sucks, Chris Paul is even nastier and better than I remember him being and Russell Westbrook is my new favorite player.

Hope everybody back in Nepal is doing well, I miss you all but I miss your food more!

Flight Back & Observations About America

I returned to America yesterday and finally feel equipped to write more than a sentence. I attempted to write last night but gave up after about three words due to jet lag. I couldn't even watch basketball last night, the speed of the game made me nauseous. The thirteen hour stretch of my journey almost killed me I'm still really feeling the effects of a different time zone and probably only have brain function at about 70% so please excuse me if my writing is shoddier than usual.

I said my goodbyes to Shehrish and friends at the Kathmandu airport around 4:30 and waited for my flight to Dubai to board. My itinerary indicated that I would be fed on this stretch but it didn't tell me that I would have to pay for it in rupees or dihrams, the UAE currency. I had exchanged all of my rupees and obviously didn't have UAE dihrams so I went hungry. I landed in Dubai five hours later where it was about 10:00 at night. Dubai is part of the UAE and has a robust economy grounded in oil monies. The skyline looks like it was constructed to look as cool and futuristic as possible, having the largest tower in the world (worth a look) amid other architectural spectacles. My new goal in life is to make enough money so that I can live in the magical playland of Dubai. The airport itself was an aesthetic marvel and I seriously would have delayed my flight to explore it further if given the option. I successfully navigated its complex system that reminded me of the scene in Revenge of the Sith where Yoda fights Darth Sidious in the senate hall and checked in with my airline, Emirates. Every part of the airport felt filthy rich including the moving walkways, bathrooms and water fountains. The terminal had a champagne and caviar restaurant that looked as ritzy as any place I have ever been to in the USA. Even the duty free shops were dripping with extravagance, boasting bottles of cognac and liquor with price tags between $15000-25000 USD. Around 2:30, my Emirates flight to New York boarded and I was dismayed to discover I was stuck in the middle seat right next to one of the bathrooms, never a good place to be on a long flight where you get three meals. My seat was 20J and I stupidly assumed the rows of seating were 3-3-3-3, which would have had me in the aisle. The actual formation was 3-5-3 and I was sandwiched between a woman with a jersey accent and a rotund man who reeked of booze and never stirred for the entire thirteen hours. I've never flown such a distance and will never do it again. Thirteen hours is way too long to be flying and I still feel jet lagged to the core. The flight trajectory was a slingshot over the northern hemisphere but I never could see anything. I was unable to get much sleep and made my return to American soil in New York as a walking zombie. I don't really remember any of the customs/immigration hassle except that it was long and I got lost in the airport. After a final layover, I boarded my final flight to Charlotte, got picked up and drove back to Winston.

Commentary On American Stuff That I Never Realized Or Thought About:

Size: Everything is bigger: cars, roads, fruits, people, beers, portions, toilets etc. I ordered a salad at some place on the way back and it was as large as a salad serving bowl. We went out to eat last night and I was shocked as to how big the portions were; no wonder people are huge and America battles obesity. I went running yesterday and felt like I was running through a vibrant green meadow; Americans have big lawns! My toilet feels like a throne. The size of everything is magnified after being in a country where most things are small.

HDTV/TV in General: I watched Bayern Munich and Real Madrid play this afternoon and could see three times more of the pitch than what I had gotten used to. Also got used to standard definition; returning to HD picture is amazing. Should just be in the previous paragraph, oops. Told you my brain is still recovering.

Internet Speed: Nepal internet was like dial-up speed, so bloody fast here.

Beds: My bed is so much bigger and softer than what I remember it being. I struggled sleeping last night because it was so comfortable, a bizarre thing to say but completely true. I miss the hardness of my Nepali bed.

Air: So clean, even though it's springtime and spring season is brutal in North Carolina with my allergies. I can take a pill to neutralize allergens; I couldn't take pills to avoid smoggy, dusty air. I could have run for hours today if not for the heat, already mid to high 80's (30-32 C).

Frivolous Stuff: Perhaps I was just exhausted but I found the SkyMall catalog thoroughly amusing after a year in a much more pragmatic culture. Life size lawn yetis for $1500, how fun! Bedbug-thwarting sleeping cocoon to prevent bedbug bites while at hotels, only $80! A Koozy Kaddy, raised drink holder for $35 so you don't have to bend down and reach into your cooler! And my favorite, an inflatable 120" movie screen complete with gas powered blowers, stakes and tethers for $250! A bit unfair to present the SkyMall catalog as the norm but us Americans do have a fondness for useless crap.

I haven't really done anything outside the house besides going out to dinner last night and jogging this morning but will write more if I'm struck by anything else. I already miss Shehrish and Nepal but am enjoying being back home and seeing the differences that I never noticed or thought about. Contact me if you want to meet up, I'll be in Winston for a bit.

Spring, End of School and Thoughts on American Stuff

I’m finally over my weeklong season-shifting illness but my allergies have come out of hibernation due to the simultaneous blooming of every plant in Nepal, leaving me a sniffling, sneezing wreck. I have always ranked spring as my least favorite season for this reason and Nepal unfortunately offers no reprieve from the widespread allergens in North Carolina. All of the roads are being widened around Shehrish’s home, which means countless buildings and homes are being toppled, leaving the air with an acrid tinge of concrete and dust. I still run almost every day but the air is becoming unbearable. Sneezing out grayish-black colors cannot be healthy; suffice it to say I look forward to the clean air of the USA.

Tomorrow marks my last week at the school and I am sad that my tenure will be over as I really enjoy the job and the children that I teach. I have done my best too not get attached to the kids but still feel like I will miss them dearly. My public speaking abilities will be put to the test on Friday as I have been named the MC of the school’s sports day, with all of the Harry Potter-like houses competing in marching and races. I’m worried as to how I will perform as I’ve never had to speak extemporaneously for so long and American humor doesn’t always translate. I YouTubed some track and field coverage of the 2008 Beijing Olympics to try and get a better feel for how to do it. Fortunately if I bomb I won’t have to return and be made fun of by children.

I’ve done my best to stay up to date with all things America while gone and have closely followed TV, politics, sports and music. It’s been interesting to observe things without really talking to anybody about them and I’m curious to see how my perceptions match up with reality. I think most people get a better understanding of events/stories from bouncing thoughts off of other people and I have been unable to do so while in Nepal, only being able to provide my laughable interpretations of Hindi film and music to my friends. Below are my thoughts on what I perceive to be currently relevant in America. Oh, and I don’t really watch movies but did see about an hour of the academy awards this year, taking away two things: Billy Crystal got really bad botox and Billy Crystal is no longer funny (was he ever?)

TV:

I have heard the most about Game of Thrones and Walking Dead from the internets throughout the last year and am currently halfway through the former. The medieval fantasy genre never really appealed to me; I do like Lord of the Rings but found the movies a bit monotonous until I read the trilogy. I don't know if it’s the antiquated English or the seemingly endless horseback jaunts through forests but anything medieval usually sets my brain into full-blown ADD mode. My initial impression of Game of Thrones is that it feels like fan fiction written by a sixteen year old whose primary interests in life are fantasy RPG's, movies chock full of gratuitous violence like Braveheart and 300 and explicit pornography. *Spolier Alert* Over the first six episodes I have witnessed a horse decapitation, an eight year old being breastfed and Tommy Carcetti from The Wire ‘tutoring’ a pair of prostitutes while metaphorically musing on the meaning of life. It's safe to say that I don't really see the appeal to anyone over twenty. I might give Walking Dead another chance when I run out of other things to watch but was bored after the first three episodes. I need more than zombie gore to stay entertained.

Breaking Bad and Mad Men are both fantastic (I've written about them previously) but another current show that I'm completely in on is Homeland. I recently got the first season on my hard drive and plowed through the first eight episodes in a couple of evenings. Internet piracy let me down for the first time in over a year as the torrent I got only has two thirds of the season, but the remaining four are nearly downloaded and I can't wait to finish it. I would recommend Homeland to anybody that I know.

Politics:

Ugh. Being abroad for the last year has further opened my eyes to the widespread banality of the American political climate. It's impossible to get a neutral read on anything from the American media as every major news source seems firmly locked on partisan reporting; reading the same story on Drudge/HuffPost is like night and day and the 'bipartisan' sources are just as bad. I've sworn off following the tit for tat red herring talking points from both the left and right but am shocked that this Trayvon Martin story has become politicized. I have no idea what really happened, as every story is painted entirely different from the next. I guess anything can be looked at as a potential upswing in the polls but twisting this story feels like a new low. I don't keep up with polling numbers but it feels like Obama is a stone cold lock for a second term. The assortment of GOP candidates that showed up for this race makes John Kerry from '04 seem as likable as Kennedy or Reagan. It would be nice for a sensible republican to emerge and for political discourse to take a turn toward a more civilized path but I expect the rhetoric from both sides to only heighten and for Barack to limp in to a second term. I wasted a lot of energy on politics in 2008 and will never do it again. Call me a rube, but following American politics is no different than following a bad soap opera, from Weinergate to whore/slutgate to Birthergate and all of the other 'gates' I'm forgetting. Four more years..

Sport:

I've watched primarily soccer, definitely not American at all. But how much do people love the NFL right now? Following other American sports during the NFL season was almost impossible due to the nonstop, ad nauseam coverage of NFL and Tim Tebow. I always casually follow NCAAF but only remember Alabama beating LSU this year. Even during the offseason the NFL has dominated the headlines. It almost feels blasphemous to admit that I don't care about the NFL as much anymore and haven't for the last few seasons. The regular season is a back and forth chess match between good teams and the playoffs feel more and more like a crap shoot, with whomever throwing hot winning the Super Bowl (see the NYG, who won this year as something like 25-1 underdogs). I loosely followed baseball but only remember the Tigers making a run and St. Louis winning it all. I have kept pretty good tabs on the NBA but only really know the Knicks; StarWorld India shows three Knicks games a week and one random game. I knew about Jeremy Lin before most when he would pay garbage time minutes and remember commenting to Shehrish how weird it must be for an Asian American Harvard grad to mesh with NBA players. The Knicks are pretty brutal to watch all of the time but the overall talent in the league is amazing right now. LBJ, Rose, Durant, Westbrook and CP3 all make me giddy.

Music:

I don't have much to say as I don't really keep up with anything mainstream, but I have gotten back into rap over the last year and am really into Drake and Lil Wayne. My last dance with rap was when I was 12-13 years old, listening to DMX yell and bark at me and 2Pac giving instructions on how to be a thug. I guess not much has changed in terms of how I can appreciate rap but I'm more drawn to it now for its cleverness instead of the shock value. I have grown weary of almost everything on my 8 GB iPod over the last year, especially The Beatles. I could go the rest of my life with no Beatles and be perfectly fine. When I get back I'm replacing everything that isn't rap except for Sigur Rós, Explosions in the Sky and maybe Radiohead. Let me in if you're listening to anything new that's good as I'm completely out of touch with the music scene.

Two more weeks in Nepal and then I’m back to the States. Nepali friends in the USA, contact me if you need or want anything from Kathmandu. I’ll have space in my luggage. Go Wildcats, Kidd-Gilchrist is my man.

The United States and Food

*THis has nothing to do with Nepal. Deal.*

Shehrish and I were watching Swansea City play Fulham last evening on an incredibly boring Saturday night when I randomly stated that I wanted to eat rocky road ice cream. Ice cream is available in Nepal (including Baskin Robbins) but we never eat it. We then somehow got onto the subject of the 50 states and Shehrish boldly claimed that she could name more than I could. Confident I could rattle off all 50, we both made lists until we could think no more.

After about 15 minutes of racking my brain, I was stuck on 46. I combed through sports leagues, settings of TV shows/movies and so on but was unable to get the remaining four. We subsequently compared lists and the states I couldn't think of were Missouri, Nevada, Kansas and Connecticut. The first two are inexcusable whiffs, as I've been to St. Louis and Las Vegas before. I should have gotten Kansas and Connecticut as well due to their basketball teams and it being March Madness, but 46 isn't too bad. Try it yourself, it's harder than you think. I later did the capitals for all 50 states and nailed a very respectable 42 of them. Mad credit to Mrs. McDougal(d?), my fifth grade social studies teacher who was a capital fanatic.

We then returned to the subject of food and what American cuisine I need to abstain from to avoid immediately gaining weight. Even though I was vegetarian for about a year around 2009 I still found plenty of fattening foods to eat. I feel like returning to the States from an Asian country is similar to how one gains the freshmen fifteen in college: an unfortunate aspect of adjusting back (or to) a new lifestyle where your food options are limited and soda(pop) or Natural Light replaces water as the predominant liquid consumed. We went over food and restaurants we liked and in the spirit of March I started to make a bracket before quickly realizing that it's impossible to compare McDonald's to Olive Garden etc. We divided restaurants into categories and compared/contrasted various aspects of them. I was amused as to how much disagreement arose but will do my best to convey both of our thoughts about the categories. I ranked them from best to worst, giving my opinion more importance than Shehrish's as I have more experience and have eaten in more areas of the USA than she has. Also, we left out restaurants that are exclusive to Winston-Salem to not make the blog too specific.

Mid Level Chains (best to worst)

I have to preface this by saying I'm not a fan of any mid level national chain, but we compared them regardless. It was a REALLY boring Saturday night. I remember a fraternity house argument where we argued about whether or not Red Lobster was trashy, and some people got really heated and accused the Red Lobster haters of being pretentious and elitist. In no way am I above these restaurants (except the last two), I just usually opt for other things.

Outback: Even at my most corpulent I would avoid Outback Steakhouse because the entrees are so blatantly unhealthy, but we both agreed that it stands at a notch above its competition. The Bloomin' Onion is what I first thought of and Shehrish mentioned their bacon cheese fries as her favorite. Suitable appetizers before eating steak or ribs; I've probably had Outback between 5-10 times in life and have left stuffed and feeling gross every time. But man is that Bloomin' Onion tasty.

Chili's/Applebee's: Shehrish thought Applebee's should have been ranked higher. I find them to be facsimiles aside from Chili's chicken crispers, basically chicken fingers that are probably fried two or three extra times giving Chili's a slight edge. I'm not even sure if the themes differ; I recall that Applebee's is all American nostalgia and think that Chili's is the same but could be wrong about that. I once stopped at an Applebee's for a beer after spending almost two hours during Christmas time in line at a Best Buy and sat next to a belligerent Santa Claus who started chatting me up for the better part of an hour about his life story and when Jesus saved him. It was a valuable lesson to never enter a drinking environment in the middle of the day, especially during the holidays. I don't know why I remembered this commercial but I'm glad I did. Pretty much summarizes why not to eat at Applebee's either:



Buffalo Wild Wings: I don't really think of this place as a real restaurant but they do have a full menu aside from chicken wings. The chicken wings are forgettable and the rest of the menu is atrocious. I ordered some steak ranch wrap thing one time and found it unbelievably salty. The upside to BWW is they have 60+ TV's. Shehrish and I made the bold decision to go to one on a Saturday night after seeing an advertisement for a UFC fight being aired at BWW. We lived nearby, I was flirting with UFC fandom at the time and Shehrish is usually game for new things. We arrived to a packed house around 9pm when the main event didn't start until 11 or so. I have never been more scared of a crowd in my entire life. UFC PPV cards really bring the nut jobs out of the woodwork and we entered into an environment of big, drunk, stylized t-shirt wearing military maniacs who got rowdier with every fight. Rednecks and alcohol are a lethal combination. I had to intervene on a couple of occasions as Shehrish likes to talk to anybody and I was scared for her safety. The atmosphere was most frightening around main event time when everybody was at their peak of intoxication. The fight was over in less than a minute and I have never been more thankful to pay a tab and escape with my life. My flirtation with UFC ended on this particular evening.

Friday's: Utter crap. I've probably had it more than once but only remember one time in Indiana when I ordered a cheeseburger or something and it made me sick. I remember this guy being their spokesman for awhile and will never eat there again. I feel like most people put Friday's on a higher pedestal and I've never figured out why.

Ruby Tuesday's: Terrible; only included to show that it is a notch above the lowest of low....

O'Charley's

(leaving the mall around lunchtime)

Kyle: Hey, let's try that O'Charley's, I've never eaten there before.
Shehrish: It looks terrible. You hate places like that.
Kyle: Yeah, but let's try it anyways. You never know.

I should have known. Shehrish couldn't eat her $12 shrimp dish and I struggled through spinach artichoke dip before also giving up, which I never EVER do. The fact that O'Charley's is able to do business is disgraceful. Perhaps the other mid level chains came together and agreed to make a restaurant so bad that it makes their food seem better in comparison. If so, then O'Charley's is a success. The painfully forced Irish theme added to my misery; if I were from Ireland I would be horrified at how Irish culture has been so exploited by Americans (by the way, Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody). Never go there.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention my affinity for Bennigan's, which we couldn't compare as Shehrish has never been to one. I don't remember how the food is and haven't been to one in probably ten years but I did see Scottie Pippen eating at one when I was seven or eight and have had a soft spot for it ever since.

EDIT: Just Googled it to see if they still existed and realized it's fake Irish themed...

I rambled longer than planned, burger joints/sub shops/'high' level chains and miscellaneous lists coming soon.